My Darling Ammama...

my strong, wise, cute, round, bubbly, always full of stories, great chef, babysitter of an army of children grandmother.

in the last few months, the strong lady i always knew turned into the baby that depended on us for everything. ammama use to cook for 16 grandchildren, but last week we had to pour milk into a feeding tube that ran into her nose. growing up, ammama slept next to me but two weeks ago, i stayed up next to her in the hospital. im thankful that god took her away fast, without allowing her to suffer that much. i knew that eventually the day would come for me to say goodbye to her but i couldnt imagine life going on without you. little did i know the day was so close by. and even now, i dont think the fact that shes left us has sunk into me. im still expecting to come back from nilai to see her waiting in my hall, watching me walk through the door and go straight into my room and then scolding me for not kissing her first.

today as i sat there next to her lifeless body, memories of what we use to share came rushing through. of how she use to be so worked up when i fell sick, even when i was taking care of her in the hospital, i coughed and though she dint say anything but i could see from the look in her eyes that she was worried. memories of the endless nights she put me to sleep in imbi, waking up to take me to the toilet, and finally tucking me back again into bed. its been years since we all ate her cooking, but im pretty sure we still remember the taste of ammama's cooking. the tears i shed today were tears of joy and happiness, that ammama was going to join the rest in heaven. though the thought of me never being to come home and kiss her cheek and fight with her for the television is running in my head, i am happy that she left without suffering.

ammama, growing up you were my best friend and right till the last few months you still were. you met the boy i liked, you even said his name as i whispered to you how i felt about him. i'll miss you and i will be thinking about you every second of my life. i love you ammama... =)

om shanti, shanti, shanti.

Hello

HELLO.

So I finally decided to creat a blog. Why suddenly? Because I came online and Ieka said "Buat kat bloggers babe! I punya bloggers!."

Do not ask me where the AshieCools came from, ieka suggested ashgangster okay. Lagi teruk. Banyak la kau ieka!

Jadi, I'm here. Blogging. =)

Add me on to your list! Weehee!

love,
me.